For a hockey player...

I'm still unable to accept that Luc is really gone. Everytime I think of it, there's still this hope in my heart that it never happened and I will go back to cheering for him next season.

It's strange because the concept of "gone" in hockey has always meant a player from your team is getting traded.. But there's always hope of that player coming back. Luc has always been someone who is stapled to a lot of trade proposals, trade rumors, etc... But death is not the same as a hockey trade or losing a player to a free agent market. We really won't see him again.

For someone I don't personally know, but who is a player who I invested a lot of emotional attachment over the past couple of years, I am very scared of losing my memories of him.

I saw him score his first NHL goal.

I remember a story back when he was in Junior, how Cape Breton's QMJHL didn't really like him because during their teddy bear toss, he threw a teddy bear back to the crowd after the first goal was disallowed.

I remember LOLing so hard during his rookie "hazing" from the Canucks Dice & Ice, beating out Alex Edler for the title of the best dancer.

I remember watching the recorded replay of Team Canada vs Team USA in the WJHC 2007 semi-finals. He scored the tying goal.

I remember the last game of the 07-08 season, when I was joking around with my friend that Luc is all over my shot when I tried to take a photo of Markus Naslund during warmup. Now I'm pretty happy that I have a couple of good photos of him on his last NHL game.

I can't even believe I'm getting this worked up over his death when I have only even seen less than half of his professional hockey games. But that's the whole point. I wanted so much to see more of his games.